3 squares

You know, if I stuck with 3 meals per day, I would probably do just fine. I suspect it would not even really matter what I ate, provided I tried, in earnest, to make better choices while eating. The problem arises when I eat constantly from sun-up to sun-down. There is pretty good evidence that eating regular meals (particularly if done as a family) promotes healthy eating.

What is your object of worship?

Phillipians 3:19--Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.

Listening to Mark Driscoll today, I recognized that I have certainly had occasion (too often, I'm afraid) where my god was my stomach. I thought about food, I desired food, and I worshipped food, even if I didn't call it that. Perhaps my gluttony is an act of misplaced worship.

"food" references in the book of John

I have been reading through the gospel of John and there are a couple of verses related to food.

In 4:34, "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work."

6:27, "Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you."

6:35 "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."

The message to feast on Jesus is quite evident here. I am often convicted that when I am bingeing, I have a "wrong focus" and that if I were truly seeking "the bread of life," my desire for food that spoils would disappear.

Tip of the day

Bring your lunch to work. You will have much better control over what you bring, better control over what goes into your food, and less tempted to "give in".

Observations from a binge

As a psychologist, my self-diagnosis is that I have a binge eating disorder.

According to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, here are the criteria:

1) Eat much more quickly than usual during binge episodes.
2) Eat until they are uncomfortably full.
3) Eat large amounts of food even when they are not really hungry.
4) Eat alone because they are embarrassed about the amount of food they eat.
5) Feel disgusted, depressed, or guilty after overeating.

That's me to a "T".

I am at the end (I pray) of a 7 day binge beginning on my birthday. I gained 19.2 pounds in those 7 days. Here are some observations:

• When I am eating well, I eat 3 meals and perhaps 1 snack--when bingeing, I eat my 3 meals but also eat much more between meals.
• When I am eating well, I eat a balance of whole grains, lean protein, fruits, vegetables, etc.--when bingeing, I eat a very high fat/high carbohydrate diet.
• When I am bingeing, I feel "icky." I wake up feeling hung-over. I have headaches and a general feeling of sluggishness.
• Every day during a binge, I wake up thinking "I am done with this" and then I begin to think "well, one more day would be fun" and I start to think about how I can get my next fix.
• When bingeing, I back off on my exercise, though I didn't stop this time (Thank God!).
• I eat a lot in private when I am bingeing. I look for excuses to sneak out of the house and go eat. Needless to say, Halloween is not a great time to be having a binge.
• When bingeing, I think about not much else other than food. I become aroused by it.
• I don't have to pee as much (I assume because of water retention).
• I have to poop a lot more (I assume because of more gross consumption).

I have to keep remembering I Corinthians 6:12 and live it! "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything.

Holiday weight gain.

The time between my birthday (10/25) and the New Year is traditionally the hardest for me in terms of my weight. CNN reported, "Some people may put on five to seven pounds through the fall and winter, thanks to a steady diet of large meals, sweets and the like. Yet the figures are much smaller for most Americans -- just more than a pound, on average, according to government surveys." I'm definitely in the five to seven (or more) pound group.

My goal this year is to maintain my birthday weight (213.6) through the holidays. Given that I have already gained about 15, means I have some work to do.

Rough Weekend

Saturday was my birthday, but the fireworks started on Friday. I made white chocolate-coconut scones for work for a birthday treat. I decided to eat one, with the intention of stopping there. My assistant was kind and brought me a cake though and I felt it would be rude to not eat any, so I ate a piece...and then another...and then another 1/2 scone. I could feel it eroding.

Saturday, I started out well, but I baked a lot. I ate some whole wheat crackers that I had made, which were probably acceptable, but the homemade pretzels were not. Later I ate a mash of coconut, chocolate chips, oatmeal, white chocolate chips and sugar. Definitely slipping. We had dinner at the Gerber's and I really went overboard. I felt physically pained by how much I ate.

Sunday was a complete loss. This had nothing to do with hunger and a lot to do with willing defiance and gluttony. In the past I would have just let this slip for a couple of weeks or months, though I intend to get back on track and start making better choice.