Wisconsin Dells

Today, we are heading to the Wisconsin Dells for a family Christmas with my dad. The time spent with them is usually enjoyable, but the junk food is also abundant. At my size, I fit right in with this group and so overeating is a normative experience. This weekend is definitely a time when Making the Better Choice will need to come into play. Choosing smaller portions, maintaining an awareness of what I am eating, and seeking other activities will all need to be the order of the day.  I'll write more when I get back.

295.9

I can highlight several incidents in my life that strengthened my love for sweets. As a young guy, I remember sitting around my aunt Sandy's table, eating "cake toppings". Cake decorators cut the tops of their cakes. Sandy would have a big pile of them. And a bowl of frosting. Incident #1.

During my mother's marriage to her second husband, she and I would grocery shop together. We would stop and get frozen custard before we would go to the store. Double dips. Then again on the way home. This gave way to eating large bags (1 pound plus) of peanut M&Ms.

I eventually found myself eating large amounts of sweets.  Whole cakes. Dozens of cookies. I would eat until I was sick. This continued until very recently.

Over the past few days, I have been toying with the "dessert bite" concept. Each day, if I wish, I may have a bite of a dessert. This will allow for the taste, but not the excessive calories. I think there might be something to this. 

I think this will be making the better choice.

297.1

Diner for breakfast. I had eggs, ham, hashbrowns, and wheat toast. 

Delivery for lunch.  Green Mill.  If you've never eaten there, it is pretty tasty.  I spent a lot of time reviewing the menu, trying to Make the Better Choice.  I decided on an open faced pot roast sandwich. They were out of it.  I switched and ordered a penne and wild mushroom pasta--lunch portion.

Even the lunch portion was huge. As was my breakfast. I ate slowly and left half of each of them sit. I know, I know. I am wasting food. Such is life. 

One of the lessons I learned when I was doing the Weigh Down Diet was that it was OK to leave things behind and that it was OK to pick through for your favorite parts. I did that today.

I made the better choice.

Three bills

Well, I almost weighed 3 bills at my doctors appointment today. 300 pounds. A perfect bowling game. In October 2008, I weighed 212 pounds. That means in 3 years, I have gained 88 pounds. Nearly 30 pounds a year, every year, for 3 years. There are numerous factors, I suppose--adoption, Heather's cancer, and a host of others. My tendency to stress eat has been made obvious. But why do I persist? Why have I lost hope in my ability to be successful?

It's interesting, several years ago, I said that I would never allow my weight to go back over 215 pounds. Either I suck at math, or I lost sight of that goal. I do need to stop now.

Don't Flail

Why is getting back on track so difficult?  When we moved 4 years ago, I weighed a trim 213.  I felt pretty good.  My weight slowly crept up, but with the onset of my wife's cancer, I ballooned up to over 280.  I know the mechanics of weight loss, though I lack something.  Is it motivation?  Is it will power?  Self-control?  I assume some combination of those things.  Someone on the WW board tonight gave the sage wisdom, "don't flail."  I feel like I am flailing, grasping at what little hope there is for weight loss.  I have gone back to some dear friends for guidance--perhaps to serve as my two floaties. 

It's on

I haven't posted here for a while, but I thought I would drop an update that I am on a 2010 weight loss challenge with two good friends from church. Realizing I gained 53 pounds in the last 14 months (with most of it during the last few), I know that I need to do something. So here we go again, starting at 268, my highest weight since 2003.

Night on the town

On Saturday night, we had the pleasure of going to Minneapolis to attend the service at Bethlehem Baptist Church downtown. Afterward, we went with the Thuls to True Thai and I had Masaman Curry. The Better Choice was that I stopped about half way through. I couldn't believe it because it was literally the best Curry I've ever eaten.